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		<title>Why We Shouldn&#8217;t Judge People Too Quickly (Or At All)</title>
		<link>https://instituteofyou.org/why-we-shouldnt-judge-people-too-quickly/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Marion Tilly]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 19 Mar 2020 08:59:00 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Personal Growth]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://instituteofyou.org/?p=34612</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p><a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org">The Institute of You</a><br />
<a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org/why-we-shouldnt-judge-people-too-quickly/">Why We Shouldn&#8217;t Judge People Too Quickly (Or At All)</a></p>
<p>As a coach, I see the image that people can give to the outside world, and I also see the one that they keep for themselves. You might be the most authentic person to have... </p>
<p class="more"><a class="more-link" href="https://instituteofyou.org/why-we-shouldnt-judge-people-too-quickly/">Read More</a></p>
<p><a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org/why-we-shouldnt-judge-people-too-quickly/">Why We Shouldn&#8217;t Judge People Too Quickly (Or At All)</a><br />
<a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org">The Institute of You</a></p>
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										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org">The Institute of You</a><br />
<a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org/why-we-shouldnt-judge-people-too-quickly/">Why We Shouldn&#8217;t Judge People Too Quickly (Or At All)</a></p>
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				<p>As a coach, I see the image that people can give to the outside world, and I also see the one that they keep for themselves. You might be the most authentic person to have ever lived, with the most close-knit community around you, and still keep things from them that you don&#8217;t feel like sharing. That&#8217;s why coaches and therapists are so incredibly important &#8211; you can unburden yourself by letting it out completely without fearing an impact on the relationships you have in your life.</p><p>This huge gap between who we are and who others think we are prompted me to write this post. If we don&#8217;t really know the people in our lives, imagine how little we know the people we have never met. Yet, we allow ourselves to judge them based on what we see. And the effect it has on our own emotional and mental well-being is tremendous.</p><h2>A personal story</h2><p>Before getting into the dos and don&#8217;ts, I want to share with you a story that happened to me a few years ago and that radically opened my eyes to the quick and wrong judgement we can do despite having very little information on what&#8217;s really happening.</p><p>One evening I was taking a stroll by the sea with my boyfriend. It is more like a bay with a small island in the middle, which I would say is about 300 meters from the shore where we were walking. When the tide is low, you could almost walk there. So we were walking at dusk when we saw something moving in the water. It was big white Labrador swimming from the island. There was no one around. It was getting dark. The dog was clearly lost. She managed to come up on the sidewalk. She was very cold and wet, and quite agitated. She came towards us and when I tried to gently grab her to see the phone number on her collar, she freaked out and started running as fast as possible.</p><p>On that sidewalk two women were walking in our direction. They must have been quite scared of the dog running towards them (who wouldn&#8217;t be?). The dog passed them and continued running until we couldn&#8217;t see her anymore. But when these two women arrived at our level, they made a comment that I did not hear because I was too worried for the dog. My boyfriend told me when we got home that they were very annoyed, and made a reproachful remark that we should have put our dog on a leash.</p><p>That wasn&#8217;t our dog. So we didn&#8217;t have a leash. We were trying to help a lost animal get home safely.</p><p>Here is what happened:</p><ul><li>These two women saw a <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>situation</strong></span>: two people and a dog &#8211; and attached a meaning to it: these people own the dog.</li><li>They then <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>thought</strong></span>: &#8220;why are they not putting their dog on a leash&#8221; but it could have also been &#8220;people are so irresponsible&#8221;, &#8220;why are they not doing anything&#8221;, etc.</li><li>The <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>emotional</strong></span> response to that thought is anger, being frustrated and annoyed, disapproving.</li><li>The consequence of these negative emotions was a change in <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>behaviour</strong></span>: the comment they made, their negative attitude, the fact that they didn&#8217;t help us.</li><li>Their behavioural reaction confirms and fuels their initial thoughts and feelings because they didn&#8217;t do anything to change those (e.g. asking us what is going on).</li></ul><p>And there you have it, the endless cycle of negative thoughts, emotions, and behaviours, started by a quick (and wrong) perception of a given situation.</p><p><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" class="aligncenter wp-image-34622" src="https://instituteofyou.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/dog-situation.png" alt="" width="600" height="653" srcset="https://instituteofyou.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/dog-situation.png 870w, https://instituteofyou.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/dog-situation-768x836.png 768w, https://instituteofyou.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/dog-situation-550x599.png 550w, https://instituteofyou.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/dog-situation-459x500.png 459w" sizes="(max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px" /></p><p>What could have happened if a less judgemental person had witnessed the situation? This kind of cycle:</p><p><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" class="aligncenter wp-image-34626" src="https://instituteofyou.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/dog-situation-2.png" alt="" width="600" height="680" srcset="https://instituteofyou.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/dog-situation-2.png 837w, https://instituteofyou.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/dog-situation-2-768x870.png 768w, https://instituteofyou.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/dog-situation-2-550x623.png 550w, https://instituteofyou.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/dog-situation-2-441x500.png 441w" sizes="(max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px" /></p><p>You can see how for the exact same situation, the way we are going to perceive it will dramatically change how we respond to it.</p><h2>How to not judge (or judge less)</h2><p>In this section I want to offer some tips I have learned with this experience, but also through the people I have coached over the years.</p><p>The number 1 advice I follow and give is:</p><h3 style="text-align: center;">Always keep in mind that t<strong>houghts are not facts</strong></h3><p>What you <em>think</em> is happening and what is <em>really</em> happening can be quite different, especially if you are not directly involved. In the story I shared, it was even the opposite: they thought we owned the dog, while in reality we didn&#8217;t. They probably thought we were jerks, while in reality we were trying to help.</p><p>We all perceive reality in a different way because that is how our mind works: we make shortcuts based on past experiences, on our opinions, values and personality traits. These shortcuts can be useful in common situations, but in others they can lead us to errors and mistakes.</p><h3 style="text-align: center;">We don&#8217;t always have all the information</h3><p>We sometimes lack crucial information that would make us read a situation in a way that&#8217;s closer to reality, particularly if we witness the situation rather than being a participant. If you see someone doing something that you disapprove, remember that there are so many things you don&#8217;t know, including:</p><ol><li>Their past experiences and education</li><li>Their personality traits and values</li><li>Their current situation</li><li>The way they feel in that very moment and what&#8217;s causing that</li><li>What they know, what they think and what they were told</li><li>Sometimes, you don&#8217;t even know their name</li></ol><h3 style="text-align: center;">Check in with yourself</h3><p>At any given time, when you feel like judgement is arising, or if you realised afterwards that you judged something or someone, do a mindful check-in to identify:</p><ul><li>What was the situation? (facts)</li><li>How did you perceive it? (thoughts)</li><li>How did that make you feel? (emotions)</li><li>What did you do? (behaviours)</li></ul><p>Then ask yourself: what facts am I not aware of? How else could I have perceived the situation? How would it have impacted my emotions and behaviours?</p><h6>&gt; Read More: <a href="https://instituteofyou.org/10-powerful-habits-of-mindful-people/">10 Powerful Habits Of Mindful People</a></h6><h3 style="text-align: center;">Don&#8217;t judge yourself too harshly</h3><p>Judgement happens. We all do it. What most of us don&#8217;t do is managing it and trying to improve it. Be kind to yourself as you learn to judge less. It&#8217;s about changing thinking patterns, and like any habit, it takes time and patience to feel natural.</p><h6>&gt; Read More: <a href="https://instituteofyou.org/how-to-be-more-compassionate/">How To Be More Compassionate</a></h6>					</div>
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		<p><a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org/why-we-shouldnt-judge-people-too-quickly/">Why We Shouldn&#8217;t Judge People Too Quickly (Or At All)</a><br />
<a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org">The Institute of You</a></p>
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		<title>The 3 Types Of Awareness</title>
		<link>https://instituteofyou.org/3-types-of-awareness/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Marion Tilly]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 10 Jul 2019 07:20:26 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Self-awareness]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://instituteofyou.org/?p=33977</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p><a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org">The Institute of You</a><br />
<a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org/3-types-of-awareness/">The 3 Types Of Awareness</a></p>
<p>We often talk about self-awareness as &#8220;the&#8221; awareness. Even at the Institute, we emphasise on how essential it is to know oneself. But did you know that there are other types of awareness that are... </p>
<p class="more"><a class="more-link" href="https://instituteofyou.org/3-types-of-awareness/">Read More</a></p>
<p><a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org/3-types-of-awareness/">The 3 Types Of Awareness</a><br />
<a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org">The Institute of You</a></p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org">The Institute of You</a><br />
<a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org/3-types-of-awareness/">The 3 Types Of Awareness</a></p>
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				<p>We often talk about self-awareness as &#8220;the&#8221; awareness. Even at the Institute, we emphasise on how essential it is to know oneself. But did you know that there are other types of awareness that are probably as important? Today we want to talk about all 3 types of awareness and give you some pointers as to where to start to develop each of them.</p><h2>1 <span class="st"> | </span>Self-awareness</h2><p>Self-awareness is the most known type of awareness. It&#8217;s the ability to know oneself, to have a deep understanding of what makes us who we are &#8211; not just our strengths and weaknesses, but also what triggers our emotions and behaviours or what our core values are. As we grow older and have more and more experiences, we change over time, so self-awareness is also the capacity to make our knowledge of ourselves evolve. To not stay stuck on one side of us, but to see where we are, where we come from, and where we&#8217;re going as individuals.</p><p><strong>Some reflection (beyond the obvious &#8220;strengths and weaknesses&#8221;)</strong>:</p><ul><li>How have you changed in the recent years?</li><li>What have you learned about yourself?</li><li>What mistakes did you do?</li><li>What behaviours serve you every day?</li><li>What do you keep doing that isn&#8217;t good for you?</li><li>What is success for you?</li><li>What is your story?</li><li>How holds you back?</li><li>What would you do if you were free of your own barriers and fears?</li></ul><h6>&gt; Read More: <a href="https://instituteofyou.org/self-awareness-infographic/">The Complete List Of All The Things You Should Know About Yourself</a></h6><h2>2 <span class="st">| </span>Social awareness</h2><p>Social awareness is the ability to understand others, the relationships you have with them, and the relationships they have with each other. It&#8217;s also about understanding how you react in various social situations and different contexts.</p><p><strong>Some reflection:</strong></p><ol><li>What social situations are you the most comfortable with?</li><li>In what situations are you not at ease or feeling awkward?</li><li>How do you interact with people you don&#8217;t know?</li><li>What is your communication style?</li><li>How do you react when people don&#8217;t have the same style of communication as you?</li><li>How do you build closeness with others?</li></ol><p><strong>Important social skills</strong>:</p><ul><li>Observing body language</li><li>Asking questions</li><li>Listening actively</li><li>Adjusting your communication to different contexts</li></ul><h2>3 <span class="st">| </span>Organisational awareness</h2><p>Organisational awareness is probably the trickiest of all three types. It can be abstract and almost seem foreign, but it is so important to develop and maintain, especially for your career. Office politics are a big thing, especially if you hope to rise up the corporate ladder, but it&#8217;s not the only thing. In every group you belong to, there are values and norms that the group follows, but it&#8217;s not always clear. Understanding them will help you find a place within that group that suits you.</p><p><strong>Some reflection</strong>:</p><ul><li>What groups do you belong to? List all of them (family, group of friends, company, department, club, etc.)</li><li>How do people interact within each group? How is it different/similar from your other groups?</li><li>What are the unsaid and unwritten rules of the group?</li><li>Who is the leader? What makes him/her the leader?</li><li>How do you participate to the group?</li><li>How is the group serving you?</li></ul><p><strong>Important skills</strong>:</p><ul><li>Mindfulness</li><li>Observing interactions between different levels</li><li>Gut feeling, intuition</li></ul>					</div>
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		<p><a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org/3-types-of-awareness/">The 3 Types Of Awareness</a><br />
<a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org">The Institute of You</a></p>
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		<title>The Complete List Of All The Things You Should Know About Yourself</title>
		<link>https://instituteofyou.org/self-awareness-infographic/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Marion Tilly]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 12 Jun 2019 13:46:43 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Self-awareness]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://instituteofyou.org/?p=31197</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p><a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org">The Institute of You</a><br />
<a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org/self-awareness-infographic/">The Complete List Of All The Things You Should Know About Yourself</a></p>
<p>What does &#8220;self-awareness&#8221; mean? What exactly does one should learn and know about oneself? At the Institute of You we&#8217;ve created an infographic with a complete list to reflect on who you are.</p>
<p><a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org/self-awareness-infographic/">The Complete List Of All The Things You Should Know About Yourself</a><br />
<a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org">The Institute of You</a></p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org">The Institute of You</a><br />
<a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org/self-awareness-infographic/">The Complete List Of All The Things You Should Know About Yourself</a></p>
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				<p><strong>What does &#8220;self-awareness&#8221; mean?</strong> What exactly does one should learn and know about oneself? At the Institute of You we&#8217;ve created an infographic with a complete list to reflect on who you are.</p>					</div>
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												<img decoding="async" width="1200" height="6018" src="https://instituteofyou.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/selfawareness-infographic.png" class="attachment-large size-large wp-image-33531" alt="self awareness infographic" loading="lazy" srcset="https://instituteofyou.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/selfawareness-infographic.png 1200w, https://instituteofyou.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/selfawareness-infographic-768x3852.png 768w, https://instituteofyou.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/selfawareness-infographic-1060x5316.png 1060w, https://instituteofyou.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/selfawareness-infographic-550x2758.png 550w" sizes="(max-width: 1200px) 100vw, 1200px" />														</div>
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		<p><a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org/self-awareness-infographic/">The Complete List Of All The Things You Should Know About Yourself</a><br />
<a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org">The Institute of You</a></p>
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		<title>8 Signs It&#8217;s Time To Get A Coach</title>
		<link>https://instituteofyou.org/8-signs-its-time-to-get-a-coach/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Marion Tilly]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 05 Jun 2019 16:07:37 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Personal Growth]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[coaching]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://instituteofyou.org/?p=32009</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p><a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org">The Institute of You</a><br />
<a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org/8-signs-its-time-to-get-a-coach/">8 Signs It&#8217;s Time To Get A Coach</a></p>
<p>Over the past few years, I have met many people who are open to the idea of getting a coach but because they&#8217;ve never worked with one, they are hesitant to take the leap. Being... </p>
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<p><a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org/8-signs-its-time-to-get-a-coach/">8 Signs It&#8217;s Time To Get A Coach</a><br />
<a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org">The Institute of You</a></p>
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										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org">The Institute of You</a><br />
<a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org/8-signs-its-time-to-get-a-coach/">8 Signs It&#8217;s Time To Get A Coach</a></p>
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				<p>Over the past few years, I have met many people who are open to the idea of getting a coach but because they&#8217;ve never worked with one, they are hesitant to take the leap. Being a coach myself and having been coached by several professionals, I wanted to share a list of situations that are good to bring to coaching. Here are the 8 common topics a coach could help you with.</p><h2>You have lost clarity</h2><p>There used to be a time where you knew what you were doing, why you were doing it, and where it would bring you, but now it&#8217;s all a bit blurry. There are many reasons why this now feels uncertain and vague: unexpected changes happen, new information come to you, opportunities arise, etc. Working with a coach will help you gain clarity again.</p><h2>You feel like you are on autopilot</h2><p>You recently became aware that you live most days on autopilot, where your behaviours and thoughts are automatically set by a routine that hasn&#8217;t changed in a while. It&#8217;s more than just waking up at the same time every day. It&#8217;s also the way you organise your day at work, how you approach the same meetings, how you work with the same people, following the same patterns. As a result of these automatic behaviours, you might feel like you are not in control anymore. A coach will help you create mindful habits, be more in the present, so you can choose your response instead of an automatic one.</p><h2>You want to learn</h2><p>You would like to learn more about yourself, bring skills you already have to higher standards or simply develop new ones to be more successful in what you do. Coaching is a learning process where the coach will support you build awareness and will give you additional resources to complete your personal and professional toolkit.</p><h2>You have tried different things that didn&#8217;t really work out&#8230;</h2><p>You are aware of the situation and how it makes you feel, so you have tried to change a few things, adjust your behaviours and see things with a different perspective. You might have started meditating to be more mindful, or you might have read a few books or looked for tips online. You applied a few of the things you learned but they haven&#8217;t been successful. A coach will challenge your thinking and bring you to the core of what you need to change. They will focus on what works for <span style="text-decoration: underline;">you</span>, not for the majority of people.</p><h2>&#8230; Or you procrastinate</h2><p>You don&#8217;t always have to be a serial procrastinator to push things back to later. Even proactive people sometimes don&#8217;t want to deal with situations they think will be hard. The truth is that it usually takes a bigger toll on you to have something pending at the back of your head than actually handling it to get rid of it. It could even be that getting a coach is the thing you are procrastinating about! Think about the impact it has on you, on your mood, your stress level, and your happiness. If it&#8217;s relevant, consider taking an action today or this week to finally relieve the pressure.</p><h2>You feel like you could do better, more or differently</h2><p>You don&#8217;t quite know what and how, but you feel like there is more out there for you, or you are not your real self. This is a gut feeling worth exploring with a professional coach. You&#8217;ll be able to label what exactly makes you feel that way, and explore the options you have to handle the situation and take action.  </p><h2>You want to change your approach</h2><p>You recently came to the conclusion that it&#8217;s not just one specific thing that needs to change, but it&#8217;s your overall approach. By &#8220;approach&#8221; we mean the way you look at and perceive things around you, the way you live your life or your attitude at work; basically your MO &#8211; your <em>modus operandi</em>. But where do you even start? This is the perfect example of something to bring to a coach. They will support you understand how to change your MO to best fit who you are and help you reach your goals.</p><h2>You are in a transition (or about to)</h2><p>You recently changed job or company, or you moved to a new city or country, or you are about to go through a bit change. The change of routine and the need to adjust can be daunting and harder than what it seems. A coach will help you feel confident, they will connect you to the reason this change is happening, and they will support you create new habits that will make you successful in your new life.</p>					</div>
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		<p><a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org/8-signs-its-time-to-get-a-coach/">8 Signs It&#8217;s Time To Get A Coach</a><br />
<a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org">The Institute of You</a></p>
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		<title>Are You Self-Aware? Here&#8217;s A Quick Test To Find Out</title>
		<link>https://instituteofyou.org/test/self-awareness/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Marion Tilly]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 29 May 2019 09:46:10 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Self-awareness]]></category>
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					<description><![CDATA[<p><a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org">The Institute of You</a><br />
<a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org/test/self-awareness/">Are You Self-Aware? Here&#8217;s A Quick Test To Find Out</a></p>
<p>&#8211; We talk about it all the time at the Institute, whether it is on in our articles or with our clients: self-awareness is the first step to self-improvement. There&#8217;s no skipping possible: you have... </p>
<p class="more"><a class="more-link" href="https://instituteofyou.org/test/self-awareness/">Read More</a></p>
<p><a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org/test/self-awareness/">Are You Self-Aware? Here&#8217;s A Quick Test To Find Out</a><br />
<a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org">The Institute of You</a></p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org">The Institute of You</a><br />
<a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org/test/self-awareness/">Are You Self-Aware? Here&#8217;s A Quick Test To Find Out</a></p>
<p><span style="color: #ffffff;">&#8211;</span></p>
<p>We talk about it all the time at the Institute, whether it is on in our articles or with our clients: <strong>self-awareness is the first step to self-improvement</strong>. There&#8217;s no skipping possible: you have to start with yourself before you take better decisions, set clearer goals, build more meaningful relationships, or create positive change in your life</p>
<p>Knowing who you are is more complicated than it looks though. Too often people stay at the surface, to what&#8217;s visible, without looking deeper and finding what&#8217;s beneath. And how do you know you are self-aware? We prepared a short questionnaire for you to find out. The questions revolve on what we think are the keys elements to awareness.</p>
<p><span style="color: #ffffff;">&#8211;</span></p>
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<p><a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org/test/self-awareness/">Are You Self-Aware? Here&#8217;s A Quick Test To Find Out</a><br />
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		<title>It&#8217;s Okay Not To Be Happy All The Time</title>
		<link>https://instituteofyou.org/not-happy-all-the-time/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Marion Tilly]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 24 Apr 2019 13:52:28 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Personal Growth]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://instituteofyou.org/?p=31183</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p><a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org">The Institute of You</a><br />
<a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org/not-happy-all-the-time/">It&#8217;s Okay Not To Be Happy All The Time</a></p>
<p>The self-development industry can sometimes, unknowingly, make people feel guilty for not being at their best all the time. We hear a lot of empowering messages telling us we can control our emotions, overcome obstacles... </p>
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<p><a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org/not-happy-all-the-time/">It&#8217;s Okay Not To Be Happy All The Time</a><br />
<a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org">The Institute of You</a></p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org">The Institute of You</a><br />
<a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org/not-happy-all-the-time/">It&#8217;s Okay Not To Be Happy All The Time</a></p>
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				<p>The self-development industry can sometimes, unknowingly, make people feel guilty for not being at their best all the time. We hear a lot of empowering messages telling us we can control our emotions, overcome obstacles and reach our goals if we<em> want</em>. So if we don&#8217;t succeed, there is an underlying message that it&#8217;s because we don&#8217;t really want it.</p><p>The reality is that most of the content you see on personal growth and career development is based on one branch of psychology, called <strong>positive psychology</strong>. The aim of positive psychology is <span data-dobid="hdw">self-actualisation, which is </span>the fulfillment of one&#8217;s potential through their strengths and drive. What we tend to forget is that there are so many other branches that focus on other aspects of the mind. Some of these branches look at the influence of the group on individuals (social), the influence of education (developmental) or even the influence of the nervous system (neurosciences) to understand how the mind works like it does.</p><p>When looking at these different aspects, we can&#8217;t ignore that there are things out of our control that impact the way we feel. Being one of these professionals who write about personal growth, I thought it was important to say once and for all that it is okay not to be happy all the time. Why?</p><h6 style="text-align: center;">Because life can be hard.</h6><p>Let&#8217;s be honest. Life isn&#8217;t always rosy, hopeful and promising. Despite all our efforts to avoid them, negative events do happen. Accidents, injuries, illnesses, failures, pain, arguments, financial difficulties. We can be hurt or see others in pain. We can unexpectedly lose someone we love.</p><p>It&#8217;s not adequate to tell someone who goes through this kind of pain that they can feel better if they want to. We all deal with this differently. Sometimes it takes a lot of time, sometimes it doesn&#8217;t. Sometimes we have support, and sometimes we feel alone. Events impact us beyond recovery (whether emotional and/or physical). They can shape our attitudes, our behaviours. They can change us long after they happen. And it&#8217;s normal because we learn from all experiences, including negative ones. It&#8217;s how we grow. It&#8217;s how we don&#8217;t repeat mistakes.</p><p>Another thing self-development tends to brush off very quickly is that <strong>we can&#8217;t always win</strong>. It is unrealistic to only expect good things to happen. Find comfort in knowing that a constant, steady level of happiness doesn&#8217;t happen to you simply because it doesn&#8217;t happen to anyone.</p>					</div>
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				<h6 style="text-align: center;">If you are feeling unhappy most of the time</h6><p>It&#8217;s important to know if you can handle the way you are feeling alone or if you should discuss it with a professional. There is nothing wrong about talking to a therapist. You don&#8217;t have to do this alone, and you don&#8217;t have to commit to years of therapy. Sometimes a few sessions can be a huge relief and a weight lifted off your shoulder.</p><p>If you experience some of the symptoms below for at least two weeks, think about getting in touch with a therapist to discuss it and see what can be done.</p><ul><li>Continuous low mood or sadness</li><li>Feeling hopeless</li><li>Having low self-esteem</li><li>Feeling tearful</li><li>Feeling worthless or guilt-ridden</li><li>Feeling irritable and intolerant of others</li><li>Having no motivation or interest in things</li><li>Finding it difficult to make decisions</li><li>Not getting any enjoyment out of life</li><li>Feeling anxious or worried</li><li>Lacking energy</li></ul><h6 style="text-align: left;">(source <a href="https://www2.hse.ie/conditions/mental-health/clinical-depression/clinical-depression-symptoms.html">HSE</a>)</h6>					</div>
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		<p><a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org/not-happy-all-the-time/">It&#8217;s Okay Not To Be Happy All The Time</a><br />
<a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org">The Institute of You</a></p>
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		<title>How To Stop Bad Habits</title>
		<link>https://instituteofyou.org/how-to-stop-bad-habits/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Marion Tilly]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 06 Mar 2019 07:56:03 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Personal Growth]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://instituteofyou.org/?p=30949</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p><a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org">The Institute of You</a><br />
<a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org/how-to-stop-bad-habits/">How To Stop Bad Habits</a></p>
<p>We don&#8217;t always do what&#8217;s best for us and for others. In some cases, we know it&#8217;s not healthy, but we do it anyway. The key here is in that awareness: once we know what... </p>
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<p><a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org/how-to-stop-bad-habits/">How To Stop Bad Habits</a><br />
<a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org">The Institute of You</a></p>
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										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org">The Institute of You</a><br />
<a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org/how-to-stop-bad-habits/">How To Stop Bad Habits</a></p>
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				<p>We don&#8217;t always do what&#8217;s best for us and for others. In some cases, we know it&#8217;s not healthy, but we do it anyway. The key here is in that awareness: once we know what we do, we can change it. Here&#8217;s how.</p><h2>What a bad habit is</h2><p>A habit is a behavioural pattern that you keep repeating in similar situations. It is usually the automatic response to a trigger: something happens (trigger) which makes you feel a certain way (emotion), which makes you respond a certain way (behaviour).</p><p>We are not born with habits. You learn them by copying the people around you from a very young age, consciously or unconsciously. In order to have their physical and mental well-being taken care of, infants adapt their behaviours to keep the ones that provide safety, which they need to be able to grow and become independent. These behaviours are not always constructive if the response to the environment is somewhat dysfunctional.</p><p>Take the example of a child who gets involved when her parents fight. If the parents keep involving the child (voluntarily or not, consciously or not), they reinforce a behaviour that will later make her get involved in other problematic relationships where she has no control. Take another example now: a teenager has friends who smoke but is left behind because he doesn&#8217;t smoke. He is more likely to start the habit of smoking to create and maintain his friendships.</p><p>Habits are learned, which also means they can be <em>unlearned</em>. It&#8217;s difficult because it is ingrained in you, but it is possible.</p><h2>Make a list of your bad habits, and pick one</h2><p>It will be challenging to change all your bad habits at once. I don&#8217;t want to say it&#8217;s impossible, but the chances of success when you go big are very, <em><strong>very</strong></em><strong> </strong>low. It&#8217;s simply too overwhelming. It&#8217;s not a sprint, you are not trying to do this for just a few weeks.</p><p>The best way to stop bad habits is to first make a list so you can focus on one at a time.</p><p><strong>How to make the list</strong>:</p><ul><li>What do you keep doing that makes you unhappy?</li><li>What can&#8217;t you stop doing that isn&#8217;t serving you?</li><li>What do you do that impacts (or could in the future) your health and well-being, or those of the people around you?</li></ul><p>The key here is that it needs to be something you are genuinely not happy with and that is causing you an issue.</p><p><strong>How to choose the habit to focus on</strong>:</p><ul><li>Look at your list and identify which one you are the most unhappy with</li><li>Which habit is, in your opinion, the worst of all?</li><li>If you were to improve your habits, which one would have the most positive impact on the others?</li><li>Which habit are you the most motivated to work on at the moment?</li></ul><h2>Why do you have that habit?</h2><p>We know we sound like a broken record talking about awareness as the first step for basically everything. The reality is that becoming aware of your bad habits isn&#8217;t just about knowing you&#8217;re doing something bad, it&#8217;s about understanding a few things:</p><ul><li><strong>When it started</strong>: at what age did you start this behaviour?</li><li><strong>Why it started</strong>: what happened that made you start this bad habit?</li><li><strong>Why it continues</strong>: what is happening in your present or recent past that made you continue this habit?</li></ul><h2>Why does changing this habit matter to you?</h2><p>Another very important thing to reflect on is your <strong>motivation</strong> to change your habit.</p><ul><li>Why is it important for you to stop it?</li><li>What will you bring you in the short-term and in the long-term?</li><li>How is it related to what you value the most in life?</li></ul><p>Link what you are trying to do with the big picture (how it will impact your life and happiness), and with more specific goals that you can reach one at a time.</p><h6>Read More: <a href="https://instituteofyou.org/motivate-yourself-to-do-anything/">How To Motivate Yourself To Basically Do Anything</a></h6><h2>Who can help you?</h2><p>Having a <strong>support system</strong> is crucial to increase your chances of success. People around you who are aware of your desire to stop a specific habit can help you in many ways:</p><ul><li>They can avoid tempting you (e.g. not asking you to go for a smoke if you&#8217;re trying to stop)</li><li>They can help you be more mindful and aware (e.g. by giving you feedback on what you do well and what you could improve)</li><li>They can motivate you when it becomes hard</li><li>They can share their own experiences changing bad habits</li><li>They might want to try to change the same habit at the same time</li></ul><p>Ultimately only you will be able to create the change, but the emotional support you will receive from friends and relatives will make it easier and more sustainable.</p><h2>What steps can you take?</h2><p>Once you&#8217;ve narrowed down the habit to focus on, you&#8217;ve understood how it started, why it&#8217;s important you change it, and who can help, it&#8217;s now time to create an <strong>action plan</strong>. I always recommend visualising this plan with an image that speaks to you. Some of the most used metaphors are:</p><ul><li><strong>A map</strong> with a starting point (where you are now) and a destination (stopping the habit permanently), with different &#8220;cities&#8221; or &#8220;stops&#8221; along the way that you need to reach one after the other,</li><li>A <strong>colourful stairway</strong> where each step is a specific action you&#8217;ll take to bring you up,</li><li>or <strong>a building</strong> where each floor represents a necessary stage before reaching the rooftop terrace.</li></ul><p>Whether you use an image or not, it is your choice.</p><p>Regarding your action plan, think about <strong>incremental</strong> <strong>steps</strong>, even if you are an all-in-or-all-out type of person. What can you start doing from today? It can be a simple, small task or activity that will set you in the right direction.</p><p>I also recommend you use a <strong>tracker app</strong> (I personally use Habit Bull) and you start a <strong>journal</strong> (it can be a simple Word document) to write down what you do every day/week. It will allow you to see progress very quickly and reflect on how your habit change is going.</p><h2>When to consult a professional</h2><p>If you try to follow these steps on your own and you find yourself either giving up quickly or not achieving your goals after a couple of months, consider working with a professional to adjust your approach to a more customised one. If it&#8217;s health related, consult your GP or a specialist. If it&#8217;s about your mental health, a therapist will help you explore what is holding you back.</p><p>Whatever happens, keep in mind that you are more in control than you think. It takes time to build up habits and it takes even more time to break them, but you can do it.</p>					</div>
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		<p><a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org/how-to-stop-bad-habits/">How To Stop Bad Habits</a><br />
<a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org">The Institute of You</a></p>
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		<title>10 Practical Tips To Adopt A Minimalist Lifestyle</title>
		<link>https://instituteofyou.org/10-practical-tips-to-adopt-a-minimalist-lifestyle/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Marion Tilly]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 16 Jan 2019 09:29:33 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Personal Growth]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://instituteofyou.org/?p=33732</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p><a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org">The Institute of You</a><br />
<a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org/10-practical-tips-to-adopt-a-minimalist-lifestyle/">10 Practical Tips To Adopt A Minimalist Lifestyle</a></p>
<p>Adopting a minimalist lifestyle is about mindfully changing your habits to live better with less. It has become increasingly popular in the last couple of years as people are more aware of their purchase habits,... </p>
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<p><a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org/10-practical-tips-to-adopt-a-minimalist-lifestyle/">10 Practical Tips To Adopt A Minimalist Lifestyle</a><br />
<a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org">The Institute of You</a></p>
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										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org">The Institute of You</a><br />
<a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org/10-practical-tips-to-adopt-a-minimalist-lifestyle/">10 Practical Tips To Adopt A Minimalist Lifestyle</a></p>
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				<p>Adopting a minimalist lifestyle is about mindfully changing your habits to <strong>live better with less</strong>. It has become increasingly popular in the last couple of years as people are more aware of their purchase habits, choices and impact on their environment.</p><p>The <strong>benefits</strong> of choosing a minimalist living are countless:</p><ul><li>It gives you more space, physically and mentally</li><li>You are more free as you are less attached to material things</li><li>You save money by not spending it mindlessly</li><li>It&#8217;s better for the planet as you reduce your overall consumption</li></ul><p>When I decided to change my habits, I did a bit of research and found a lot of impractical tips, like ditching all your electronic devices (that&#8217;s just not realistic) or growing your own vegetables (though this is very appealing to most of us, not everyone has 1) a garden that&#8217;s big enough, or 2) the time to take care of it).</p><p>I wanted to share with you all the things that I did when I decided to change my habits. For all of you who are interested in small, incremental steps towards a more sustainable living, this will get you started.</p><h3>1 <span class="st"> | </span>Declutter what you already have</h3><p>Decluttering your life is the first necessary step towards a minimalist lifestyle. It might take you several days or weeks to go through all of your things, but you will feel a huge sense of relief as you clear your possessions.</p><p>As you start reviewing what you own, always make <strong>three piles</strong>: what you keep, what you donate, and what you trow.</p><p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>Your home</strong></span>:</p><ul><li>You probably have a lot of <strong>clothes</strong> you are not wearing, go through them to see what you can donate.</li><li><strong>Books</strong>: are there books you didn&#8217;t like or you&#8217;ll never read? Give them away or sell them.</li><li><strong>Paper</strong> (letters, stationary): research how long you need certain documents and if you can keep a digital version of them. Throw away junk letters</li><li><strong>Kitchen</strong>: you are probably not using everything in your kitchen, consider selling or giving what you do use.</li><li><strong>Products</strong>: throw away old make-up or recycle expired tablets</li></ul><p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>Your garage or storage room</strong></span>: if you have one or the others, it is very likely the messiest place of your house, and where you keep most of the things you don&#8217;t really use. Spend extra time clearing it up.</p><p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>Your car</strong></span>: clear your car of all the junk laying around. We all have at least one thing that has been there forever.</p><p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>Your work space</strong></span>: apply a minimalist approach to your work environment:</p><ul><li>Clear your desk to keep only the essentials</li><li>Empty your drawers: throw away papers and materials you don&#8217;t use anymore and bring back the stationary you took but don&#8217;t use back to the station where other people will use them.</li></ul><p>For a proper decluttering, I recommend you check the technique Marie Kondo has developped. You&#8217;ve probably heard of her as her books are everywhere and she even has a Netflix show. &#8216;m not going to go into details into her <a href="https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/home/organizing/a25846191/what-is-the-konmari-method/">KonMari</a> technique but you should definitely check it out if you want to improve your decluttering skills.</p><h3><span class="st">2 | Recycle &amp; freecycle<br /></span></h3><p>Make sure you always recycle what you don&#8217;t use. If you&#8217;re not using it and it&#8217;s in a good condition, you can sell it on a classified ads. You can also donate it to charity or join a Facebook group in your city where people exchange things for free. You can use this kind of freecycling initiatives to also get things you need without having to pay for them.</p><h3><span class="st">3 | Be mindful when you shop</span></h3><p>It&#8217;s directly linked to the habit #2. Build an awareness around your purchasing habits so you understand why you are buying stuff: is it absolutely essential or is it for pleasure? Are you really going to make a good use of that? What happens if you change your mind, will it take a lot of space or will it be easy to get rid of? What do you already own that you could use instead of this new item? Before going to the till, think twice.</p><h3><span class="st">4 | Only buy essentials<br /></span></h3><p>One of the golden rules of minimalism is to buy things that are essentials to your life. That&#8217;s something that I personally needed to change and that has had the most impact on the space in my house.</p><p>Let me give you a concrete example of how this plays in my day-to-day life: when I go food shopping there&#8217;s often a discount on a kitchen appliance I&#8217;d love to have, like a waffle maker. I love cooking and baking, so for me a new appliance is like a new toy. In the past I would have probably bought that waffle maker but that&#8217;s not the case anymore because the waffle maker always fails the following test:</p><ol><li>When was the last time I ate waffles? A very long time ago.</li><li>Will I use it every day or every week? Clearly I won&#8217;t.</li><li>Can I cook other similar foods with appliances/utensils I already have? Yes, I can do pancakes or crêpes.</li><li>Do I love waffles that much that they can&#8217;t be replaced by pancakes or crêpes? No.</li><li>Will it make me save money? No.</li></ol><p>Clearly I don&#8217;t need a waffle maker.</p><p>This can be applied to most of your purchases. For the ones that are for pleasure, like a book for instance, consider borrowing it (I got a library card) or reading it on a device (see tip #8).</p><h3><span class="st">5 | </span>Quality over quantity</h3><p>Overall, a minimalist way of living focuses on quality and not quantity. I know quality usually comes in with a higher price tag. But consider the money that we spend replacing things that broke very quickly. It&#8217;s better to spend €100 in a good pair of shoes that will last you 5+ years than a pair that costs €30 but that will need to be replaced every year.</p><h3>6<span class="st"> | Cook simply</span></h3><p>Along the lines of the example of the kitchen appliance I shared (#4), switching to a more minimalist lifestyle can also mean a minimalist cooking style:</p><ul><li>Choose recipes that don&#8217;t require a dozen appliances</li><li>Have go-to recipes</li></ul><h3>7<span class="st"> | </span>Pick experiences over things</h3><p>When you are in the fortunate position of having all you need, you can decide to reward yourself not on useless things, but on <strong>experiences</strong>, like a class to learn a new skill, or a (day) trip somewhere. If you can&#8217;t really afford this type of activity, you can always ask them as a gift for your birthday or Christmas.</p><h3>8<span class="st"> | Choose electronic books and online reads</span></h3><p>Switching to ebooks is one of the best ways to save space (and money). Nowadays you don&#8217;t necessarily need a Kindle (though if you can afford it I highly recommend you get one). Everyone can read from their tablet, laptop and even their phone. If you subscribe to a magazine, look for the subscription that gives you full access to their online articles without receiving the paper version.</p><h3>9<span class="st"> | </span>Declutter your devices &amp; inbox</h3><p>We use multiple devices every day, probably more than we realise, so we should treat them like our home, garage and work station: like a space that needs to be cleaned up from time to time. What does that mean?</p><ul><li>Delete apps and software you are not using</li><li>Reorganise your files and delete the ones you don&#8217;t need anymore</li><li>Run Ccleaner on your laptop or the &#8220;device care&#8221; function in the settings of your phone to delete temporary files and optimise storage</li><li>Clear your desktop area to open your laptop and phone to a clean, minimalist screen</li><li>Empty your laptop bin regularly</li></ul><h3>10<span class="st"> | Repeat again and again</span></h3><p>In this post we touched on the first steps to take to live a more minimalist lifestyle. Obviously it doesn&#8217;t just stop there. Going through each step regularly will make you want to go a little further each time. You will see as you repeat these tips, they&#8217;ll get easier: you&#8217;ll donate more, buy less, choose better quality, etc. A lifestyle can&#8217;t change overnight, so it&#8217;ll take a bit of practice, which you can achieve by mindfully implementing new habits into your life.</p>					</div>
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		<p><a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org/10-practical-tips-to-adopt-a-minimalist-lifestyle/">10 Practical Tips To Adopt A Minimalist Lifestyle</a><br />
<a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org">The Institute of You</a></p>
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		<title>2022 Year In Review: 50 Powerful Questions To Help You Reflect</title>
		<link>https://instituteofyou.org/year-in-review-50-powerful-questions-to-reflect/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Marion Tilly]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 13 Dec 2018 14:21:34 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Self-awareness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[learning]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[year in review]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://instituteofyou.org/?p=32149</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p><a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org">The Institute of You</a><br />
<a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org/year-in-review-50-powerful-questions-to-reflect/">2022 Year In Review: 50 Powerful Questions To Help You Reflect</a></p>
<p>To find meaning in a year of challenge and change, it is important to pause and reflect on the lessons we have learned and how we have grown. No need to wait December 31st to... </p>
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<p><a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org/year-in-review-50-powerful-questions-to-reflect/">2022 Year In Review: 50 Powerful Questions To Help You Reflect</a><br />
<a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org">The Institute of You</a></p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org">The Institute of You</a><br />
<a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org/year-in-review-50-powerful-questions-to-reflect/">2022 Year In Review: 50 Powerful Questions To Help You Reflect</a></p>
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				<p>To find meaning in a year of challenge and change, it is important to pause and reflect on the lessons we have learned and how we have grown. No need to wait December 31st to start doing that.</p><p>We put together <strong>30 questions</strong> to help you think about your 2022 takeaways, lessons, and highlights &#8211; and <strong>20 other questions</strong> to set your intentions for 2023.</p><p>Answer all of them or pick the ones you want to explore. To make the most out of this activity, take notes and take your time. And remember that sharing these questions with others so they too can reflect is a kind and generous gesture. <img decoding="async" class="emoji" role="img" draggable="false" src="https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/14.0.0/svg/2728.svg" alt="&#x2728;" /></p>					</div>
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				<h1 style="text-align: center;">2022</h1><p>1.  What is the most important lesson you learned this year?<br />2.  What is the best thing that happened?<br />3.  What challenges did you overcome?<br />4.  What new skills did you learn?<br />5.  What did you do for your career growth?<br />6.  What did you enjoy the most?<br />7.  What was your favourite moment?<br />8.  How did you have fun?<br />9.  What new habits did you start?<br />10. What are you the most proud of this year?<br />11. What did you learn about yourself?<br />12. How did you live by your core values?<br />13. How did your relationships (family, friends, work) evolve?<br />14. What was the best decision you took?<br />15. How did you fail?<br />16. What got in the way of your success?<br />17. What would you do differently if you could?<br />18. How are you different than a year ago?<br />19. What did you do for your physical and mental health?<br />20. Who or what had the biggest impact on your life this year?<br />21. What did you let go of?<br />22. What were the most useful resources you had?<br />23. What are you thankful for this year?<br />24. What did you leave unfinished?<br />25. What was the best compliment you received?<br />26. If you were to talk about this year like a story, how would you write it?<br />27. How do you describe this year in 3 to 5 keywords?<br />28. What energised you? what drained you?<br />29. How kind were you to yourself?<br />30. What advice would you give your last-year self?</p>					</div>
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				<h1 style="text-align: center;">2023</h1>
<p>31. &nbsp;What is your intention for next year?<br>32. &nbsp;What are you going to continue doing?<br>33. &nbsp;What do you want to change completely?<br>34. &nbsp;How do you intend to be different at the end of next year?<br>35. &nbsp;What will you do to step out of your comfort zone?<br>36. &nbsp;How will you learn from your future mistakes?<br>37.&nbsp; What do you want to accomplish?<br>38.&nbsp;&nbsp;What will be your purpose next year?<br>39.&nbsp;&nbsp;Which existing relationships do you want to focus on?<br>40.&nbsp;What career opportunities do you want to create for yourself?<br>41. How will make next year matter?<br>42. How will you help others?<br>43.&nbsp;What personal qualities do you want to strengthen?<br>44.&nbsp;What skills do you want to learn?<br>45.&nbsp;How will you take care of yourself?<br>46.&nbsp;What places do you want to visit?<br>47.&nbsp;What will you say “no” to?<br>48.&nbsp;How will you improve your environment?<br>49.&nbsp;Who will you ask help and support from?<br>50. Who do you want to become next year?</p>					</div>
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				<h3 style="text-align: center;"><span class="light">Click right on the infographic to download these questions<br />↓</span></h3>					</div>
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		<p><a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org/year-in-review-50-powerful-questions-to-reflect/">2022 Year In Review: 50 Powerful Questions To Help You Reflect</a><br />
<a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org">The Institute of You</a></p>
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		<title>How Much Of These 5 Personality Traits Do You Have?</title>
		<link>https://instituteofyou.org/big-5-personality-traits/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Marion Tilly]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 06 Nov 2018 09:18:48 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Self-awareness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[psychometric test]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://instituteofyou.org/?p=30822</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p><a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org">The Institute of You</a><br />
<a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org/big-5-personality-traits/">How Much Of These 5 Personality Traits Do You Have?</a></p>
<p>The Big 5 Personality Traits, also called the OCEAN model or the five-factor model, are used to describe someone&#8217;s personality in broad traits that are common to everyone. These traits are: Openness Conscientiousness Extroversion Agreeableness... </p>
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<p><a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org/big-5-personality-traits/">How Much Of These 5 Personality Traits Do You Have?</a><br />
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<a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org/big-5-personality-traits/">How Much Of These 5 Personality Traits Do You Have?</a></p>
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				<p>The Big 5 Personality Traits, also called the OCEAN model or the five-factor model, are used to describe someone&#8217;s personality in broad traits that are common to everyone. These traits are:</p><ul><li>Openness</li><li>Conscientiousness</li><li>Extroversion</li><li>Agreeableness</li><li>Neuroticism</li></ul><p>For decades, psychologists have researched personality traits to link them to behaviours and results. The Big 5 model started in the early 60s with Tupes and Christal, two psychologists who wanted to understand how these traits were linked to academic performance. Since then many psychologists have worked on this model to extend its reach and develop new methods.</p><p>These 5 traits are not the only element to take into consideration when exploring behaviours. Many other internal (the person&#8217;s experience, background, etc.) and external factors (the current context the person lives in) also impact it.</p><p>Each trait has a spectrum where you can place yourself. You can be more or less of each trait; you can tend towards one end or the other depending on your natural inclination to certain factors. If you are in the middle, you do not have any strong preferences and are considered to be adaptable.</p><h1>The five factors</h1><h3>Openness</h3><p>High scorers tend to be original, creative, curious, complex. They are open to new things and focus on new challenges. On the other hand, low scorers tend to be conventional, down to earth, have narrow interest and are not very imaginative. They tend to dislike change and resit new ideas.</p><h3>Conscientiousness</h3><p>High scorers tend to be reliable, well-organized and self-disciplined. They usually pay attention to details and are very thoughtful. Low scorers tend to not be interested in many things, they also tend to be disorganized and procrastinate important tasks.</p><h3>Extroversion</h3><p>High scorers tend to be sociable, friendly, fun loving and talkative. They openly express their emotions and are outgoing. Low scorers tend to be reserved, introverted and quiet. They carefully think because speaking, they dislike being the center of attention and prefer solitude.</p><h3>Agreeableness</h3><p>High scorers tend to be good natured, sympathetic and forgiving. They tend to be kind, affectionate and altruist. They care about and enjoy helping others. Low scorers tend to be critical, rude, and harsh. They have little interest in others and tend to be competitive.</p><h3>Neuroticism</h3><p>Neuroticism is a trait characterized by sadness, moodiness, and emotional instability. High scorers tend to be nervous and insecure. They worry about many things, feel anxious, and tend to struggle to bounce back after setbacks. Low scorers tend to be calm, emotionally stable, relaxed and secure. They tend to handle stress well and rarely feel sad or depressed.</p><p>Now take the test <a href="https://www.outofservice.com/bigfive/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">here</a> (you don&#8217;t have to fill in all the personal information. Just click on the button &#8220;submit&#8221; when you have answered the 60 questions and you&#8217;ll get your score).</p><p>After doing the questionnaire, you should have a clearer idea of how you rank on each trait. The document below, shown on <a href="https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newCDV_22.htm">Mindtools</a>, shows a breakdown of the 5 traits into 10 facets, which are then broken down into 30 sub-facets. This gives you additional information to understand better the characteristics.</p><p><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-31895" src="https://instituteofyou.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/bigfive.jpg" alt="" width="945" height="1098" /></p><p style="text-align: center;">Judge, T.A., et al. (2013). &#8216;<a href="http://www.timothy-judge.com/documents/2013-31562-001.pdf" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Hierarchical Representations of the Five-Factor Model of Personality in Predicting Job Performance: Integrating Three Organizing Frameworks With Two Theoretical Perspectives</a>,&#8217; Vol. 98, No. 6, 875-925, 2013, published by American Psychological Association, Inc</p><h1>Using it in the workplace</h1><p>Taking this test is a good first step to build self-awareness about the traits that you show more than others. Like for any other personality test, it is important to remember that:</p><ul><li>It&#8217;s a picture at a given moment that may change with new experiences.</li><li>It&#8217;s subjective as you are the one filling it.</li><li>It highlights behaviours and natural preferences, not who you are as a person.</li></ul><p>Regardless of its potential fallibility, if you recognise yourself in the results, there is a part of truth that is worth considering for your personal development and career growth.</p><h3>1. Explore the 5 traits, the 10 facets and 30 sub-facets</h3><p>Identify the traits you scored the highest and the ones where you scored the lowest. Notice if you have any in the middle, which would indicate you don&#8217;t have any preference towards one or the other. What do you think about these results? Do they seem right to you?</p><p>Looking at the table I shared with the different facets, break down each trait to see what facet/sub-facet is relevant to you. Which ones are holding you back? Which ones would you like to start improving now? This type of <a href="https://instituteofyou.org/ask-more-questions/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">questions</a> is a great starting point to reflect on what you want to do with these results and what actions you can take for your career development.</p><h3>2. Have your team and manager take the test</h3><p>Another way to use this form is make your team and manager take it. Share the gift of self-awareness with others. There is a benefit for you too. One of the <a href="https://instituteofyou.org/develop-emotional-intelligence/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">emotional intelligence skills</a> is social awareness, that is being aware of people around you, their individual differences, but also how you all form a group with specific dynamics and routines. Having people you work with take that role and share the results (see point #3 below) will help you understand them better and adjust your behaviours if/when necessary.</p><h3>3. Create a team discussion about the results</h3><p>Have the team share the results in an informal team meeting where you can discuss:</p><ul><li>Where you are different and complementary</li><li>Where you are similar</li><li>How communication can be improved</li><li>How these traits in each of you contribute to your team&#8217;s successes and/or difficulties</li></ul><p>You can also provide examples and feedback to people as they share their results, and have them do the same with you. After all, these people are working with you every day and should have a good understanding of who you are at work, and what perception you give.</p><h6><em>Sources</em></h6><ul><li>https://www.thoughtco.com/big-five-personality-traits-4176097</li><li>https://www.healthline.com/health/big-five-personality-traits</li><li>https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newCDV_22.htm</li><li>https://www.verywellmind.com/the-big-five-personality-dimensions-2795422</li><li>https://bigthink.com/robby-berman/the-5-personality-types-and-why-you-care</li><li>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Five_personality_traits</li></ul>					</div>
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		<p><a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org/big-5-personality-traits/">How Much Of These 5 Personality Traits Do You Have?</a><br />
<a rel="nofollow" href="https://instituteofyou.org">The Institute of You</a></p>
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